Open Flame
by The Writer's Guild
Summary: In New Moon, think of if Bella had never found Jacob. If there was a mistake, who will be there to take his place?


**This chapter was written and edited by Toast Rox, as well as the initial idea for the story.**

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**Chapter 1. Right Here With You**

When life's on hold, and you don't know what to do, you figure out who to turn to. And when it all came down to it, I had no one to turn to. It's a sad story, really. But yet I wallow in it and I don't let anyone in. I crawl into my cowardly hole, and wait for the light, but it never comes. Maybe it's because the hole won't let the light in. Or maybe it's because I won't let the light in.

I woke up screaming like any other morning. I tore the walls down with my fear, my ache. The day went by like any normal day. Boring old me.

After my failed attempt at work, I rode off to La Push. I don't know why, but it seemed like something was suddenly pulling me there. And then I saw the signs. Not just any ordinary signs, but a sign that said FOR SALE, and underneath the sign were two old bikes.

I walked up to the house and knocked on the door. The boy that came out told me I could have them for free, and helped me load them into the truck.

Immediatly I thought of the one person that could help me with these. Jacob Black. I said my thanks and rushed to the Black's home, wondering if he would be home.

As I pulled in the driveway, I honestly didn't know what I expected. But no one came out to greet me, so I parked and walked up to the door. I knocked twice. No one. I knocked again. No one. I raised my hand to knock one more time and-

"Bella."

I looked down at Billy in his wheelchair and couldn't help but to frown. I was hoping I would see Jacob. Then I looked at his face more carefully. His face was solemn. He looked extrenuously pale and skinny, as if he hadn't eaten in days. I pondered at the thought of what might be bugging him, but I let it go. It was his business.

"Hey, Billy. I was wondering of I could see Jacob," I said trying to peer into the house around him in search of Jacob.

"He's not here."

"Oh," I said, not bothering to mask my dissapointment. What was the point? "Where is he? Do you know when he'll be back?"

"He's home. He's never coming back." Billy sounded as if he might cry.

Wait- home?! "I thought this was his home! Isn't it?"

He shook his head slowly. "No, Bella. You don't understand. Jacob, he went out two weeks ago with some of his friends. He went to see a movie and look in the junkyard for a few things. On his way back from the junkyard, they saw Sam on the side of road. Remember Sam Uley?" I nodded. This was the guy who pulled me out of the woods after...

"Well, they saw him and he asked them to pick him up and take him home. Apparently, Sam's wife, Emily, had a fight with him and left him on the side of the road to cool off. So there they were in a car with an angry Sam, practically dumped by the love of his life, and three helpless teenagers. Sam pulled out a gun he got from who knows where and put the gun to Jacob's head, who was in the backseat with him. He told Embry and Quil to crash the car or he'd shoot Jacob. Jacob told them to keep going, it wasnt worth it. So they did.

"And then Sam shot him. Right in the temple. Embry, who was in the driver's seat, went into shock as well as Quil and just stopped driving. They were found two hours later crashed into a river, and everyone showed signs of living.

"Everyone except Jacob. Jacob died that day, Bella. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but... I'm sorry."

I stood there, trying to take it all in, when it started raining. I didn't care. I just didn't want this to have happened. He was so young. I barely even knew him and yet I felt a sorrow for him I had never felt before.

I didn't bother to say anything. I didn't need to.

"So, Bella. Now Jacob's home; really home. He's where he belongs. And he's never coming back here, Bella. Never." I heard him heave heavy sigh. I couldn't bear to look at his face right now. The tears had already started to fall down, but intermingling with the raindrops now soaking Billy and me to the bone.

"Anyway, Bella, Sam, Embry, and Quil were all recovering in he hospital, and doing quite well, actually. Then one night Embry snuck out his bead to get revenge on Sam. He suffocated Sam with a pillow, who died that night. Then the next day, Embry died of grief. He commited a similar suicide. The only one to stay virtually stable and together was Quil. He's still alive. Alive and breathing. I'm so proud of him."

I looked up at him then. What I saw on his face cut me deep in my heart like a knife. I'm not sure that even explains it. He was so... pained from it all that his face was litterally twisted in agony. His face held no tears; just rain, but you could tell something was there. It went without saying. Not only did Jacob, Sam, and Embry die, so did he. Billy Black's grave was already set and dug next to Jacob's. It might as well have been.

And it made me flash back to myself. I'm sure this is how I looked to everyone else around me after... I changed. When the person you love the absolute most dies, so do you. You die right along right along with them.

I leaned down and wrapped my arms around Billy, knowing it wouldn't do any good.

So I called Charlie and told him to call the school and phone me in sick for a week or so, and I would stay here with Billy. I told him also not to come over; one was enough.

Billy and I wallowed in our grief; I told him of mine, he repeated his, not as if I had to hear it twice to truly understand it, but for the comfort of admitting it repeatedly. It was hard for me to talk about... him... in front of Billy, but it needed to be said. We were in the same position.

We talked with each other. We sat at the dining room table and stared into each other's eyes for hours. We walked in silence in the rain, hoping to drench out our sorrows. We didn't try to bargain smiles out of ourselves. We. Just. Died.

Over and over again.

I lay on the couch Wednesday night, thinking. I realized something just then. I needed to wake up. I needed to get out of this dream I keep living. It was only making me worse. So I decided, for everyone's sake, I would become as normal as possible. I would wake myself if it took twenty musical chain saws.

As I lay there thinking, not getting any sleep, I heard Billy's wheelchair creek through the house. I figured he just came to wake me up, so I decided I would just lay there and wait. No harm.

It was when I heard the door open I got worried.

I waited until it softly closed and opened up the back window and slipped out into the night. I realized I had been so out of it in this dream I was wearing Jacob's clothes, but that was the least of my worries right now.

I tip-toed out to the front yard and hid behind one of the many bushes.

Billy was sitting in his wheelchair, singing one of the songs I had heard him chanting around the house:

So, tell me is this real?  
Am I supposed to feel my heartbeat?  
I dont; it seems to have dissapeared.  
Or is all this just make believe?

And then you just up and leave  
Im alone in my own sorrow  
Im expected to pick up every peice  
And live on to tomorrow.

So take my heart take my soul  
Goobye my hopes I'm ready to go.

I was crying by now; that song meant exactly what we were feeling, we had to let go. But we both knew it was only metaphorical.

So why did Billy suddenly stand up from his wheelchair? He stood on too feet and stumbled a bit forward. He fell to his knees and looked down to the earth.

"Take my heart, take my soul, goodbye my hopes," he yelled. I was afraid of what happened next. His voice suddenly dropped to a whisper. "I'm ready to go."

He pulled out a knife from his robe and held it to his heart. I couldn't watch anymore. I turned my head back around.

There was a screech, then silence.

**A/n- This song is called Take Me by Aouster. Thanks for reading!**

**(MEMBERS OF THE WRITERS GUILD: ALL ENTRIES MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 12/24/08 AND MUST INVOLVE CHRISTMAS IN SOME WAY!)**


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